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Posts: 38858
Aug 9 13 7:13 AM
LewdDude's Sexretary
Even if he were to sing Your Mama Don't Dance?
Posts: 11763
Aug 9 13 7:19 AM
Yes I would even sit through his version of it while bleeding profusely from my ears for you.
Aug 9 13 7:24 AM
Awww shucks
Aug 17 13 9:03 AM
Aug 18 13 6:45 AM
Yes folks you read that right.....he now has a Facebook acct
Aug 23 13 4:07 AM
I'm convinced that I've been knocking at death's door the last couple of days from that distemper voodoo stuff I will always believe Dawn put on me as she was leaving after her recent visit here.(Dawn, if yer reading this, I'll get you back... you just wait)
The old timers around here sometimes call it the consumption.I call it just plain 'ol upper respiratory funk.
I admit: It made me technically quit smoking for a day,cuz all I could really do was get a mouthful of smoke and then cough it back out.Inhaling was an impissabolity.
It first began to hit me this past Sunday and so Monday I decided to stop off and pick up some meds for it on my way home from work.(Yes Dawn, they were all in date this time)
So the first thing I did when I got home was smear a bunch of chapstick on my lips cuz they wuz on fire.
Then I popped 2 Benedryl in my mouth and swallowed them down with about a half a bottle of Robitussin cough syrup.
That was my first mistake.
Then I had a Budweiser 6 pack as a chaser.Cuz well .... let's face it...we all need something to get the taste of that awful cough syrup out of our mouths right ??
Well that turned out to be mistake #2.
Suddenly my stomach began talking to me in a language it had never spoken before.Usually it just makes a growling noise as if somekind of demon is trying to rip it's way out of me.This time it was bustin' some rhymes. It sounded a lot like Snoop Dogg rappingafter too much Chronic.
I could swear I heard it repeating a chorus like:"Wait jus a minizzle muthafuzzle""Pop plop, guzzle guzzle, oh wot a mistook that wuzzle""Now you bout to spew glue McGoo"
So I commenced to puke.
Now .... many upper class people are quick to point out that the more polite word for puke is regurgitate.But take it from me ... You can't say regurgitate while yer in the middle of puking.I know cuz I've tried it many times over the years.Human lips just cannot form that word while in the act.
Another thing I've learned from experiencea time or two in the past:Robitussin tastes a lot worse coming upthan it does goin' down.
Anyway ... I told that so that I could tell this:
I missed a day of work and an important phone call (sorry bout that Dawn) I spent a day in bed in a fetal postition screaming "Mommy",while both burning up and freezing at the same time.
But I'm much better now.
Aug 23 13 6:33 AM
YOU have IN DATE meds??? Holy shit!
Well that turned out to be mistake #2
Aug 23 13 8:03 AM
It was the bed ... Thanks for yer concern...
and I'd bet that if the phone were to ring right now ...
I'd answer.
Aug 23 13 8:10 AM
The bed?!?!
Aug 24 13 9:46 PM
I'm no longer a Facebook virgin.I got poked a couple of times.And I poked back.
Posts: 5257
Aug 24 13 10:18 PM
Group TartMinion #1
Aug 25 13 2:33 AM
Sofa King tired.
Aug 25 13 6:23 AM
So I fell asleep on the couch while watching some dumb movie with the AC blasting.When I woke up, my bare feet were freezing.Not fully awake, I stumbled down the hallway to grab myself some socks.Temporarily forgetting I had recently completed my annual housecleaning.I threw open my bedroom door, looked on my bed and thought,"Where the Hell are all my clothes ???"
Aug 25 13 6:51 AM
Poor critter your life just gets turned upside down and gets you all discombobulated when I come down there.I'll warm yer feet for ya
Aug 25 13 8:22 PM
Next time you should listen to your Facebook friends and just take me home with ya.
Aug 26 13 1:10 AM
Shove ya down in my suitcase eh?
Aug 26 13 1:18 AM
Yeah as big as it is, I'd probably fit
Aug 26 13 1:23 AM
Yeah you probably would have
Aug 27 13 3:25 AM
I just cut a fart that stank so badit would gag a maggot