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Posts: 38858
Mar 28 12 7:40 AM
LewdDude's Sexretary
I confess....I had to give LD a hard time about not starting the sentences with I confess.I too had to stop and get gas today Mali was one thirsty lil BLEEP! lolSee I told you that you would be famous. All thanks to the customer with his hidden camera. Got folks at the gas station wanting yer autograph.
Posts: 8105
Mar 28 12 11:37 AM
Member
I confess.... the wind is blowing here, and I hear things rolling about outside
Posts: 566
Mar 29 12 8:11 AM
Posts: 5257
Mar 30 12 5:34 AM
Group TartMinion #1
Posts: 11763
Mar 30 12 5:56 AM
RulingLoveless wrote:
LMAO !!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I just listened to some of Garth Brooks greatest hits ... Now you would think that would be confession enough, but wait, there's more !!!
Back when Garth was God (and I'm sure Ginger is gonna say,"Who the hell is Garth Brooks?) I was curious and followed his exploits like millions of others did at the time, and once I got past "Friends in Low Places" and some of the other crappy songs like that of his, I actually started taking him seriously as an artist.
That is until he decided to become a pop star, left his faithful wife for Trisha Yearwood, dyed what was left of his hair,slapped on some mascara and changed his name to Chris Gaines.
To this day, I still don't quite know what to make of it all, but in my humble opinion, I have to quote a line from the immortal Richard Pryor ... "Cocaine is God's way of telling you that you're making too much f*ckin' money."
Mar 30 12 8:44 AM
Posts: 1886
Mar 30 12 9:27 AM
Queen of Tarts
1LewdDude wrote:
Omg this is so true ! It sucks when you have a long day at work .Lewd I remember the whole Garth "gone crazy" period I don't know what the heck that was .. but Richard Pryor got it right
Mar 30 12 11:33 AM
I confess.... When I think I have lifes puzzle figured out, someone hands me another piece!
Mar 31 12 3:36 AM
Mar 31 12 4:37 AM
Mar 31 12 9:53 AM
1LewdDude wrote: Seems I got an official "warning" from the owner of one of the other groups I'm in..... for conduct unbecoming of "HER" rules and regulations and all I did was mention the word "ERECTION" in one of my posts.. ...She is evidently a Grandmother, so I have to assume she must have had her kids by immaculate conception, cuz I've always been under the impression that "doin' the nasty" and getting impregnated usually starts with an "ERECTION" .... Gee whiz, that word is used in countless tv commercials for Viagra and Cialis, so "I confess" that I live in the 21st century and "I sincerely applogize if I offend anybody for keeping abreast of the ever changing times." he said sarcastically.
Mar 31 12 11:29 PM
Mar 31 12 11:48 PM
And now your using the word breast in here.Whatever am I gonna do with you and your potty mouth??
Posts: 7161
Apr 1 12 12:58 AM
Apr 1 12 1:02 AM
Apr 7 12 12:24 AM
My confession today is that I did something I don't do very often and probably should do more of, and that's "take a walk on the wild side."
In doing so, I discovered a new way and a new place I can retreat to whenever I feel the need to relax,decompress,daydream and believe it or not, even get some office work done.
See, for the last 10 years I've lived out in the country, and when I say out in the country, I mean WAY out in the country, away from the cities, towns and highways.As a matter of fact until recently, directions to my house included the words "turn off of the paved road".
Anyway, today I got an inspiration I never saw coming and for the first time in quite a while,I went for a hike in the woods behind my house.
I found myself wandering deeper and deeper into what most city folks would consider to be the abyss,winding my way around the majestic oak trees and whispering pines, through ravines and briar patches.
I had a feeling it was something I just had to do.
It was as if some force was drawing me in like a steel ball to a magnet.
I could almost hear a faint voice calling out to me.beckoning.
As if some restless spirit had suddenly possessed me and was guiding me to something very very important for me to discover in this wooded area away from civilization.
For at least an hour or so I trudged through thick bushes, clinging vines, piles of rotting leaves,risking life and limb from spider bites, tick bites, even possible snake bites and all kinds of other mean nasty stuff as my anticipation continued to build to a fevered pitch.
And then...
Finally I saw it.
In the middle of this wonderful magic of Mother Nature with rabbits running, squirrels scurrying and various other creatures doing what they do, there it was,the reason for this voyage that I could not resist taking.
My destiny.
An adult potty chair.
An adult potty chair sittin' upright even, right there in the middle of the woods.Now that's somethin ya don't see every day.
It's a bit corroded and foliage has somewhat overtaken it, so I know it's been there for a long time.As I stood there gazing at it in utter amazement, I couldn't help but wonder just who it had belonged to and how on Earth (not to mention why) it had gotten there.Ok well, I may have the why part figured out.It was obviously some guy's private reading retreat.At first I thought maybe it had been my Grandfather's but I thought no, it couldn't be cuz he would always just grab some corn cobs and head for the barn.He would save the softer and more plyable Sear's and Roebuck catalogue paper in the outhouse for my Grandmother. He was always considerate like that.The potty chair's got some age on it for sure but still sturdy and with a little spit and polish it could be good as new.
And now it's mine,and I'm gonna let it remain right where I found it and go visit it from time to time whenever I feel the need to get just a little further away from it all.
Apr 7 12 10:48 AM
He ain't lyin folks...it is WAY out in the sticks.
Apr 7 12 12:45 PM
EmeraldEyes921 wrote: 1LewdDude wrote: Seems I got an official "warning" from the owner of one of the other groups I'm in..... for conduct unbecoming of "HER" rules and regulations and all I did was mention the word "ERECTION" in one of my posts.. ...She is evidently a Grandmother, so I have to assume she must have had her kids by immaculate conception, cuz I've always been under the impression that "doin' the nasty" and getting impregnated usually starts with an "ERECTION" .... Gee whiz, that word is used in countless tv commercials for Viagra and Cialis, so "I confess" that I live in the 21st century and "I sincerely applogize if I offend anybody for keeping abreast of the ever changing times." he said sarcastically.She has no sense of humor .. if Erection is all you said she is missing some of your better thoughts ..
Funny thing is, I also mentioned beaver shots but her only problem seems to be with "ERECTIONS"
Apr 7 12 12:49 PM
LilAngel wrote: And now your using the word breast in here.Whatever am I gonna do with you and your potty mouth??
You could wash my mouth out with ... well .... youYou know what the commercial says ... "Dawn .... Not just for dishes anymore."
Apr 7 12 1:04 PM
RulingLoveless wrote: You said erection...hehehehehehe erection, erection, erection, erection, erection,
Yes yes yes .... Let's all chanterection erection erectionviva la erection !!!!