Was sittin' here at the computer one night, (nekkid as usual), when this moth starts flying around my head ...Instead of swatting him, I chose to ignore him for some reason....that is until he committed the ultimate sin.

Suddenly I felt him fluttering on my back between my shoulder blades....Then he moved down ....WAY down.

The instant I felt him slide down my ass crack, the war was on.

First thing I did was clinch my buttcheeks tight enough to bend a 10 penny nail...Pretty sure at that point, you couldn't have driven a railroad spike up my asshole with a 9 pound hammer.

Well he started flying around my head again so I jumped up from the chair and grabbed my somewhat pitiful excuse for a fly swatter....It wasn't one of those GOOD fly swatters, you know, the old fashioned sturdy kind with a metal handle,nope, this one was flimsy plastic all the way...Oh the plastic handle was ok but the actual swatting part of it was ripped right down the middle, so trying to swat a moth out of mid air felt a lot like trying to knock down an elephant with  pom poms and confetti.

Still, there was no way I was gonna give up, sit back down and allow that moth to once again try to flutter his way up my asshole again.

So that's when I decided to bring out the heavy artillary....Formula 409.

Figured if I couldn't knock him out of the air,perhaps I could hit him with some Napalm and at least force a crash landing.

Problem was, the little bugger proved to be quite elusive...He darted around and up and down faster than I could pull the trigger.

I finally had to resort to my best Karate Kid moves....Did the whole crane stance thing and the wax on wax off excercise and readied myself for some good old fashioned hand to wing combat.

Then, for the next 15 or 20 minutes, that moth and me had ourselves a dandy of a tussle...It was back and forth for a bit.... Neither of us could gain a clear advantage...I would manage to graze him a little with a couple of my almost lightning fast chops and he would dip down toward the floor for an instant, only to swoop back up toward the ceiling out of my reach.

At last, he made a fatal mistake ....He thought he had me out of breath and it was maybe safe to land on the counter top to decompress for a second...That's when I used my finishing move...PALM SMASH ...1-2-3 ..Match over.

No bug has ever DARED to try crawling up my asshole since then ....I'm a BAD MAN !!!


Edited 1 time by 1LewdDude May 10 15 3:54 PM.