I'm convinced that I've been knocking at death's door the last couple of days from that distemper voodoo stuff I will always believe Dawn put on me as she was leaving after her recent visit here.
(Dawn, if yer reading this, I'll get you back... you just wait) smiley: tongue

The old timers around here sometimes call it the consumption.
I call it just plain 'ol upper respiratory funk.

I admit: It made me technically quit smoking for a day,
cuz all I could really do was get a mouthful of smoke and then cough it back out.
Inhaling was an impissabolity. smiley: sick

It first began to hit me this past Sunday and so Monday I decided to stop off and pick up some meds for it on my way home from work.
(Yes Dawn, they were all in date this time) smiley: wink

So the first thing I did when I got home was smear a bunch of chapstick on my lips cuz they wuz on fire.

Then I popped 2 Benedryl in my mouth and swallowed them down with about a half a bottle of Robitussin cough syrup.

That was my first mistake. smiley: nerd

Then I had a Budweiser 6 pack as a chaser.
Cuz well .... let's face it...we all  need something to get the taste of that awful cough syrup out of our mouths right ?? smiley: smokin

Well that turned out to be mistake #2.

Suddenly my stomach began talking to me in a language it had never spoken before.
Usually it just makes a growling noise as if some
kind of demon is trying to rip it's way out of me.
This time it was bustin' some rhymes. smiley: eek
It sounded a lot like Snoop Dogg rapping
after too much Chronic.

I could swear I heard it repeating a chorus like:
"Wait jus a minizzle muthafuzzle"
"Pop plop, guzzle guzzle, oh wot a mistook that wuzzle"
"Now you bout to spew glue McGoo"

So I commenced to puke.

Now .... many upper class people are quick to point out that the more polite word for puke is regurgitate.
But take it from me ... You can't say regurgitate while yer in the middle of puking.
I know cuz I've tried it many times over the years.
Human lips just cannot form that word while in the act.

Another thing I've learned from experience
a time or two in the past:
Robitussin tastes a lot worse coming up
than it does goin' down.

Anyway ... I told that so that I could tell this:

I missed a day of work
and an important phone call
(sorry bout that Dawn) smiley: embarassed
I spent a day in bed in a fetal postition screaming "Mommy",
while both burning up and freezing at the same time.

But I'm much better now.  smiley: happy